STPD

𝘶 𝑡𝓸𝒍𝐝 𝒎𝙚 ᘖ 𝓸р𝙚ת 𝘶р s𝓸 𝓨 𝒓 𝘶 𝒓𝘶תת𝑖תｇ 𝓪𝔀𝓪𝓨???? 𝒓 𝒎𝓨 𝑖תs𝑖𝐝𝙚s 𝒍𝑖𝑘𝙚 𝘶ｇ𝒍𝓨 𝓸𝒓 s𝒎𝑡𐒅??? 𝑖𝑘 𝒎𝓨 𝒓𝑖b𝓒𝓪ｇ𝙚 𝑖s 𝑘𝑖ת𝐝𝓪 ƒ𝓪𝑡 b𝘶𝑡 𝑖 𝓪𝒍𝔀𝓪𝓨s 𝑡𐒅𝓸𝘶ｇ𐒅𝑡 𝑖 𐒅𝓪𝐝 р ת𝑖𝓒𝙚 𝓸𝒓g𝓪תs…𐒅𝙚𝓨 𝐝𝓸 𝘶 𝑡𐒅𝑖ת𝑘 𝑖𝒎 р𝒓𝙚𝑡𝑡𝓨? b 𐒅𝓸ת𝙚s𝑡… 𝑖 𝔀𝓸ת𝑡 b𝙚 𝔀𝙚𝑖𝒓𝐝 𝓪b𝑡 𝑖𝑡.

ẞ𝓪s𝑖𝓒 𝓸𝗩𝙚𝒓𝗩𝑖𝙚𝔀։ I𝑡ꞌs 𝓸ת 𝑡𐒅𝙚 s𝓒𐒅𝑖ᶻ𝓸р𐒅𝒓𝙚ת𝑖𝓪 sр𝙚𝓒𝑡𝒓𝘶𝒎! ℳ𝙚𝓪ת𝑖תｇ 𝑖𝑡s р 𝒓𝓪𝒓𝙚 𝓒𝘶ᶻ s𝓸𝒎𝙚𝟏 𝔀𝑖𝑡𐒅 𝑺𝑻Ƥ𝓓 𝔀𝒍𝐝 ת𝙚𝙚𝐝 𝑡𝓸 𐒅𝓪𝗩𝙚 𝓪 𝒓𝙚𝓪s𝓸ת 𝑡𐒅𝙚𝓨 𝓒𝒍𝐝 𝐝𝙚𝗩𝙚𝒍𝓸р 𝓪 рs𝓨𝓒𐒅𝓸𝑡𝑖𝓒 𝐝𝑖s𝓸𝒓𝐝𝙚𝒓 (𝔀𐒅𝑖𝓒𐒅 9/𝟏٥ 𝑖s g𝙚ת𝙚𝑡𝑖𝓒s 𝒍𝑖𝑘𝙚 𝑖ƒ 𝓪 𝓒𝒍𝓸s𝙚 𝒓𝙚𝒍𝓪𝑡𝑖𝗩𝙚 𐒅𝓪s 𝓸ת𝙚!) 𝓪𝒍𝓸תｇ 𝔀𝑖𝑡𐒅 𝓪𝒍s𝓸 𐒅𝓪𝗩𝑖תｇ 𝑡𐒅𝙚 𝙚ת𝗩𝑖𝒓𝓸ת𝒎𝙚ת𝑡𝓪𝒍 ƒ𝓪𝓒𝑡𝓸𝒓s 𝑡𐒅𝓪𝑡 𝒍𝙚𝓪𝐝 𝑡𝓸 𐒅𝓪𝗩𝑖תｇ 𝓪 р𝙚𝒓s𝓸ת𝓪𝒍𝑖𝑡𝓨 𝐝𝑖s𝓸𝒓𝐝𝙚𝒓
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𝑻𝓸 р𝘶𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝒍𝑖𝑘𝙚 𝒓𝒍𝓨 s𝑖𝒎р𝒍𝓨 𝑖𝑡s ƒ𝓸𝒓𝙚𝗩𝙚𝒓 b𝙚𝑖תｇ 𝑖ת 𝓪 s𝑡𝓪𝑡𝙚 𝓸ƒ 𝓪𝒍𝒎𝓸s𝑡 рs𝓨𝓒𐒅𝓸s𝑖s.

(the way i c it is like … i see things smtimes and hear things but i can just be like damn like im tweaking rn lol and it doesnt rly go further… and i think things have special meanings that only i can understand but not 2 the point that is has me do extreme things that i otherwise wldnt do. like theres nvr an “episode” of something a lot more extreme) .. ~~well apart frm whn i used 2 trial antidepressants thts not a good idea but we didnt kno i had stpd at the time :’) 1 time i spent all my savings wch was like 6k on vocaloid merch~~

It def has like ups and downs but im going to talk about the ups 2day!!

I think having this state of mind makes me constantly think of new ideas and concepts that ppl without STPD couldnt create as easily if at all.

The symptoms im gonna focus onnn r: magical thinking, unusual perceptual experiences and eccentricity! cuz it influences my creationz sooooooooo much.

Magical thinking, unusual perceptual experiences and eccenticity explained! (taken from the fact sheet u can access w the blinkie on my about page!)

Magical thinking: Persons with schizotypal personality disorder tend to experience passing magical thoughts and often have magical beliefs. Importantly, magical beliefs are only indicative of schizotypy if they are unconventional, not based on existing belief systems, and are self referential. This means that beliefs in christianity, witchcraft, astrology, etc are not the same as magical thinking and are not indicative of schizotypy, and persons with schizotypal personality disorder are actually much less likely to have conventional or pre existing belief systems than the general population

Unusual perceptual experiences: A tendency to experience fleeting, mild forms of hallucinations such as visual, auditory, tactile, and bodily distortions. Typically the person is aware that these distortions are hallucinations.

Eccentricity: Persons with schizotypal personality disorder tend to be seen as odd and eccentric by others and have unusual behaviors. Importantly, this eccentricity is not the same as oddness caused by social deficits or autistic behaviors like strong interests in things that may be seen as “cringey” by others, atypical identities, or participation in alternative or fringe cultures.

I just kind of wanted 2 talk abt it because its not v known… and I really really dislike ppl assuming I’m autistic which happens p often because idk i said something weirdly or bc i have sensory issues. Just cuz it’s SO insanely different + i find it rude that ppl dont evn ask properly… (like someone actually physically cannot have both autism and STPD at the same time because they conflict with each other so much! Despite maybe looking similar at a v surface level. )

It’s touched on a little in that eccentricity overview but like for like another example … ppl with STPD understand nuances in ppls behaviour and can read ppl Extremely well, like a lot better than the average person! Which is the complete opposite of one of the most common signs of autism.

We r so good @ it that if some1 isn’t in the creative arts world, they probably are doing smth related to psychology!

I also feel extremely separate from other people but not cuz i dont understand them. It’s like…. the opposite and like i like kno that im different.

4 me… It’s like I feel like I’m something else tht was sent here to study humans and try 2 blend in as much as possible and like… iv succeeded @ this lol cuz… also… humble brag but I’ve never been wrong once about some1s true nature! 100% success rate. Def is something tht makes it rly difficult for me 2 connect 2 ppl tho like no friends Castle Rin over here haha …. ha…… :’)

Oh! i will say. I saw the TV glow rly got to me 4 a bit! Like ik it was metaphorical but like if u imagine it isnt and just take th story how it is, thats legit how i feel.

Also! I rly likeeee only started fr embracing this part of me about a year ago! I kind of was like… Im not making friends @ uni anyway… I might as well go all in and be exactly how i wanna b rather than try 2 hide it so much! I became a LOT happier after doing that. And i actually talk 2 ppl a LOT more than i did b4 so! i mean idk i guess if they see me as their friend but for me?? its soooo special im.. happy i decided 2 stop hiding stuff so much. so theres some Castle Rin wisdom 4 u… just b true 2 urself like u cant b ur own opp….

I’ve alwayz been a v creative person and u can see on my feedback page that I often get told my ideas r rly unique and bold! I get told this by other ppl all the time too… hmm anothr brag hehe i know but like its true! It’s my strongest asset 4 sure! I love 2 create concepts and stories and like fun ways 2 tell them that arent just words. Thats y i want to go into prosthetics so much as my next step! I think being able 2 make physical stuff like that…. wld be the coolest thing evr.

i think not only in my concept creation, it shows also in my actual writing style 4 sure! One of my… pet peeves in anything is when dialogue doesnt sound like real ppl talking and . sounds like dialogue. Which happens a lot i think its super common i always point it out in stuff… And dialogue is my favourite thing to write thats y i do it so much! I also think im rly good @ it…. yk …. 1st person the CW course leader has evr seen pull off doing a case file for their story……… teeheeee……

So likeI I dont wnaaaaaa go in2 more specifics on my more personal stuff.. like i cldnt even rly tell u much on vocaloid page…. sory…. kinda? but like idk i feel like my aura… portrays it p well. Castlecore has a specific vibe.

I just think that it shows in my work SO much u kno?

And… idk… im not like ashamed to have this disorder! I wouldnt be who i am without it and… clearly thr r a lot of positives that come from me having it^^ its not all bad. STPD gang…. whr the homies @? (we wld not get along i imagine)

What does Zack think???